Sunset before Sunrise

The light shimmered and danced on the rippling waves and the undulations in the sand likened to the desert. Katie sat and pondered the mirage before her. The breeze played upon her scorched cheeks reminding her of the previous day. It seemed so surreal that less than 12 hours ago she had been standing on a beach watching the sun set, encapsulated by the way the ball of fire sunk into the sea, sending a ricochet of red sparks into the night sky, illuminating her face. Her eyes ablaze with the warmth and power of this image until finally the sun had disappeared into its watery depths and a chill had fell on her tanned shoulders.

Now she was watching the sun rise just as if it had refused to be held back any longer. Although there was not the power in its warmth and would not regain that power the way it had in Rhodes it still mesmerised her with its supremacy over everything beneath it. She wondered why something so unexplained could hold the mood of people old and young. Without its presence, the world would not exist, and although it wasn’t always visible it was never in doubt that it was there, somewhere, lurking behind the stratus clouds that so often enveloped this part of the world. The Norfolk skyline this morning though only held a few Cirrus clouds which made no impact in disguising the sphere of hot plasma.

Katie’s mood fell sombre as she thought about the events of the past 12 hours. It felt like she was the book in between two solar bookends and she had no idea if there would be a follow up to this book. it almost felt like this was a one off and the end to a saga where no one comes out on top. The rising sun offered no hope of a rebirth only the certainty that the same thing would happen tomorrow and somewhere some lost soul would be searching for answers to questions that the universe couldn’t answer. She sat in quiet contemplation on a bench marked with a plaque “Barry Cocker 8-9-1940 to 15-4-2016 Enjoy the view”, she wondered what his story was. Why did he die so young, what had lead to his demise? She felt comfort in sitting on this bench though. She sat with her eyes shut concentrating on the Heartfulness meditation she had been practising recently. She needed some calm and she didn’t care what anyone thought to her sitting there, she needed to grasp the splendour of the day and all the natural healing she could muster from her surroundings. She was aware of a jogger going past. had they paid any attention to her? She thought not as there pace didn’t falter and she could her the faint throb of Guns n Roses “sweet child of mine” as the jogger sped past, presumably through earphones. Then she sensed a dog walker, only because she felt a cold nose rub up against her leg and the owner shout the dog in an embarrassed tone. Then everything felt silent apart from the rippling of the waves. She sat like that for about 10 minutes or there about as meditation strips you of all sense of time. Had anybody else gone past she probably wouldn’t have been aware as colours flashed before her tight lidded eyes, starting with red then progressing to violets and then finally white. She had reached a transition period and she now felt empowered to deal with the day. She got up and stretched, breathing in the breath-taking view. A calm, serenity engulfed her whole being. she turned her back to the surf and boldly walked back to her house, chanting in her head “thank you, thank you, thank you” with every step. The Law of Attraction had taught her that to receive good things you had to be thankful for all the good in your life. She didn’t want to dwell on the past, only the future deserved space in her head right now and although her life was tough right now she knew that she would heal and at some point she would look back on today as enlightenment and closing the door on the past. She wouldn’t forget and neither did she want to as happy times had outweighed the bad but looking forward was her only hope.

“Hello love, how was the walk?” Katie’s mum pressed her for an answer, searching for encouragement that the walk had been fulfilling.

“Good thanks, it made me realise that I have to focus on the future, dwelling on the past won’t bring James back.”

“That’s a good philosophy love, I know it’s going to be hard but you will get through it. I know leaving James in Rhodes wasn’t an easy decision to make but it is for the best.”

“There were too many memories there, here is where he was healthy and that’s how I need to remember him. I know I’ve got to fly back for the funeral but I need to be here to lick my wounds right now, with the family I love.”

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