“Hello, this is Lily from GMB, can I speak to Mr Reynolds please.” Stanley thought the caller on the other end of the phone seemed pleasant with a smiley voice, that exuded warmth and excitement but he couldn’t understand why a Union would be calling him, his working days were long over.
“Yes, that’s me, can I help you?” It had been a long time since anyone had called him “Mr”. These days people were all too familiar and the days of respect had long gone. He had received many calls asking for Stanley, to which he always replied “Do I know you?” because in his book only friends or family called him by his first name.
“Well Mr Reynolds, I would just like to ask you a few questions please.”
“No, I’m sorry I don’t do surveys.” Charlies heckles were up now. He was so fed up with people phoning up to do surveys. They all said it would only take a couple of minutes, but 5 minutes later they were still prattling on about which detergent he used or what utility supplier he used.
“I am not doing a survey Mr Reynolds, I just need to check some important details with you.”
“Oh yes, I’ve heard that one before, next minute you’re signing me up to, God know what or trying to get me to transfer £20,000 into your bank account, well you’re not going to get me on that one. Good bye.” And with that he abruptly put the receiver down, he wished people would credit him with some intelligence.
Almost immediately the phone rang again.
“Honestly Mr Reynolds I am not trying to sell you anything I have something important to tell you but I just need to check a few things with you first.”
“Here we go again, stubborn little thing this one was,” he thought, “well it wasn’t going to work on him.” And with that he picked up the whistle that he kept by the phone and gave one short sharp blow, which sent the pea rattling around in it’s chamber, causing a shrill that would send any sheepdog darting here and there.
“That should shut her up!” Her peacefully placed the phone back in its cradle and resumed completing The Times crossword.
Five minutes later the phone went again Charlie had forgotten about the previous calls.
“Mr Reynolds please do not do that again; I still have ringing in my ears.” Lily said sternly. Before he could interrupt her again, she interjected. “I am Lily from Good Morning Britain, I am phoning to tell you that you have won £250,000 in our June prize draw, but I need you to verify your details first. This is not a hoax, I am not trying to sell you anything, or try to get any money out of you, I promise.”
Charlie leapt up and let out a shrill this time unaided. Poor Lily.